Gulp

I'm nervous and excited. My first e-story hits the virtual shelves soon. Very soon. Like, maybe today. My publisher gave the thumbs up to the final edits yesterday and said she'd upload it soon. Soon is a torturous word.

"When can we have pie?"
"Soon."

"Are we there yet?"
"Soon."

I'll post the link...soon. In the meantime, there is coffee, and eager anticipation.

Some thoughts on writing erotica

Part of the joy of writing erotica is the joy of expressing sexuality in words. Sexuality is a great lens through which to view the world. Just like we're all spiritual beings and political beings and creative beings, we are also all sexual beings. All of us. That is incredible to think about, isn't it?

Just think. Everyone has this lens. Maybe I should say most people have this lens. I am blessed to have a couple of asexual people in my life and I like to hear their perspectives, too. Anyway, most of us have a connection to our own sexuality. Some of us are still in the process of discovering what feels right and others have found it.

Sexuality is such a powerful part of the human experience. When it's right, it feeds the soul in ways that nothing else can. A pure and beautiful connection between lovers can be a transcendent experience. Conversely, repressive sex-negative views can really stifle a soul's growth. More and more, I find the link between physical and spiritual blatantly obvious.

One of the best things you can do for yourself as a person going through this human experience is to find out how you wish to express yourself sexually. In finding sexual satisfaction you actually find so much more.

Writing erotica these past few months has allowed me to feel complete in ways that I haven't felt for a while. I used to sell sex toys and lube etc. That job allowed me the privilege of peeking into other people's sex lives. That was great fun. When I left that job for something more career-like, it took me a long time to figure out that I really missed looking at people as sexual beings. I missed delving into the details.

I feel much better now that I'm exploring the human experience in this way, looking into bedrooms (this time of my own creation) to see what's going on in the minds, hearts and bodies of characters who intrigue me. Writing erotica is fictional voyeurism.

Masturbation

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Can sad people be hot?

I'm working on a story right now that in my mind is hot but I wonder how others will perceive it. It involves that seductive desire of sex with an ex. In the story, the previous relationship involved dominance and submission. The heroine's current relationship has fallen apart yet she is still living with her ex lover as neither can afford to move out. She is flirting with her ex online and eventually meets up with him. They discover that the d/s spark between them never really went away. She was and is the 'top' and taking it on again feeds her with empowerment. There is an overall tone of sadness as she is still working out her most recent relationship conundrums. Her experience with her ex allows her to feel beautiful in ways that she hasn't for a while. In many ways, it would be way easier to rewrite the story with her being single but something tells me that's not as realistic. Also, I like exploring the complexities of dominance - that sometimes even dominant lovers get themselves into relationships wherein they are not in control. So she has to struggle against that image of herself to connect with her past. I believe that real hotness comes from real situations. I just hope this isn't a little too real. (She says as she goes off to do another rewrite before submitting the story to an anthology...)

It's getting warmer out there

It's spring and the warmer temperatures mean more seductive poses in fewer clothes and I can't argue with that. I think I will surprise my lover with a new purchase of the undergarment variety soon. 

Happy Spring, everyone!

Shyness

I'm a shy person. I'm an introvert on the Myers-Briggs test. You could almost go so far as to say I'm a recluse. It's hard for me to leave my apartment sometimes. I just enjoy spending quiet time alone.

I must have internalized some negative assumptions about my shyness over the years because it's something I can get defensive about. Defensiveness sucks. My goal moving forward is to not be defensive about things. Self acceptance and self appreciation seem to be the key to happiness.

Some time ago, I met a sweet and shy introvert and fell for her like I've never fallen for anyone. I think part of the appeal is that she also spends all kinds of time alone in her apartment. We both need that - to be able to be apart. Ironically, it brings us closer together.

There is something very sexy about finding someone with whom to connect on that level, someone who also savors one-on-one encounters and a "quiet" relationship. Our private lives are hidden from Facebook etc. and that makes me very happy.

I like writing erotica because it's about making sexuality public. It's about sharing hot encounters in a very intimate way with readers. But in my mind, it's still a quiet and introverted thing to do.

I mention all of this in case you were wondering why I don't have a photo up and why I'm not on Facebook. It's because I'm shy. That's all. I hope you can appreciate that about me.

Wild Girls, Wild Nights

Even more great news! I just got an email last night from Sacchi Green, editor of Wild Girls, Wild Nights (a forthcoming Cleis anthology) and she wants to include my story, The Corruption of the Innocent Pornographer. I am thrilled beyond belief.

There is still a chance that the story won't make it in as her choices have to be accepted by the publisher and I've never been one to count my chickens before they hatch. Still and all. This is EXCITING!

I can't wait to share the news with the sexy lady who inspired the story. I get to see her tonight. Possibly the biggest thrill of all will be the look on her face when I tell her that our hot and steamy and PRIVATE two-day tryst will be out there for everyone to read about. For us shy types, that's enormous. It's also really thrilling.

Great News!

It looks like my novel has been accepted for publication! I'm really excited about this. I need to wait before I talk about it in detail as nothing is signed yet. Also, we're working on the title. The publisher didn't like my original title so we're going to have to come up with something together.

The really thrilling part is that I get cover art. Cover art! I am so thrilled. I can just imagine the big beefy dude they pair my heroine up with. Or maybe the artist will choose to portray one of her lady loves. Who knows?

The other day I read an article about people reading more erotica than ever. With the kindle and kobo, reading has become more private than ever. The article said some people get a secret thrill out of reading erotica on their e-readers as they commute to and from work on the bus. I have to say, it gives me a very real thrill to think that my words will get to be a part of that soon.

Starting the Day off Right

I woke up this morning feeling inspired. Before I knew it, I was knee deep in an erotic adventure far removed from my own reality. My protagonist is a lawyer. She takes on a sexy dare and things get a little wild. 

I love writing erotica because of the fantasy element. It is a real joy to escape into a world where everything ends in with a climax. I really am a sucker for happy endings.