The Importance of Patience and Nice Guys

Just turned my latest novel into my editor. My fingers are crossed. I hope she likes it. The waiting part is the worst, but I understand that she is legitimately busy. I will be patient. I'm also waiting to hear back from another publisher about a short story I submitted. This is a waiting game, for sure.

Meanwhile, as a distraction, I'm focusing on another story I've neglected for a while. It's fun to get back to it. My main character's love interest is totally my type. He's a really nice guy. I tend to write nice guys, I guess because I like them the most.

It's funny how the stereotype is that the jerk gets the girl. I've dated jerks, too. I used to like them when I was considerably younger, but I'm all about nice people now. This guy, David, is incredibly sweet, and I love letting my heroine discover the layers of his kindness. He keeps it on the down low, so as not to seem like one of those 'nice guys' (who doesn't get the girl). It's a fine balance in the story, as I'm sure it is for a lot of guys in real life.

I have so much love for nice guys, the unsung heroes of our time. When I think of the guys I know in real life who inspire the character David, I'm filled with hope. I know a lot of really great men who are caring and compassionate and feminist in their politics and all around awesome. It baffles me that jerks get any attention at all. It really does.

Ah...Fall

I love autumn. The leaves change colour and the air takes on that crisp, cool quality. The cravings for pumpkin lattes begin. There's a seriousness about this season that must have something to do with it being the start of the school year. I'm back at my desk more and eagerly working on some new stories. Last night, I finished a short story that I started roughly a year ago. It felt great to finish. I had been feeling guilty for leaving my two characters suspended mid-action for so long. It was important to give them the conclusion I felt they'd earned.

Now I'm moving on and looking at other characters whose stories I've started in a moment of inspiration and left hanging. Ever since September started, I've craved spending time with my characters again. I'm back at work in a serious way (my hours go way down in the summer and fall is my busy season). My social life right now revolves around my fictional friends. It's great. I love coming home from work and having a glass of wine and sitting down with my characters for a while. It's a lot like the satisfaction I imagine people get from almost any other hobby, be it knitting, painting or even playing games. It's cozy. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy. And it's a quiet indoor activity that I can do while listening to Mozart and watching the rain come down outside.

Cheers to fall!

My Introverted Fantasy Life

I grew up watching Jem. Remember her? Her dad left her a really cool machine named Synergy who could transform sweet bookish responsible Jerrica into rock star Jem via a pair of really awesome star-shaped earrings.

When I'm not writing as Destiny, I'm writing under the other name, my "real" name. Most of the time, I'm Jerrica but every now and then I get to be Jem. Why not mix the two and come out as a part time erotica writer? Well, that's where it gets really interesting.

I'm an introvert. This is my experiment. I want to see how a pseudonym affects my writing process. So far, I've noticed that it is quite a different experience to write and publish as Destiny. It's better. I think it is because my ego doesn't get involved. I don't criticize myself to the same extent that I usually do. I'm not as invested in how my work measures up. It's easier to let it be.

When I write under my other name, I'm self aware. Far too self aware. I often wind up disliking and discrediting my own work because I outgrow it. This is common. Most writers experience this. I do what I can to make peace with what I perceive as failure by learning and pouring my new knowledge into my new work. Again, not unusual. Every artist does this. It's how we grow.

As Destiny, however, it's a relief to discover that I don't do this. I have published a few stories. I see some flaws and, miraculously, they don't haunt me. Why? Maybe it's because I don't have the same expectations of my erotic material. Maybe it's because nobody but a handful of true confidantes knows my secret. I'm not sure.

What I do know is that having a secret identity gives me a lot of pleasure. I love having my own little fantasy world to turn to where I am an altogether different manifestation of myself. It's like being a super hero or a drag queen - totally awesome.

I'm still getting to know who Destiny is, and how she thinks. And how Destiny is different from "me". I love being Destiny. It's great fun.

Lusty Lawyers

I'm so excited that my story, The Perfectly Inappropriate Dare, made it into Maxim Jakubowksi's Quick and Dirty anthology. I've been a fan of Jakubowski's work for many years and it was such a thrill to get the email from him announcing he'd accepted my story. The only thing better was the day I got a slip in the mail saying there was a package for me at the post office. I just got my two author copies and it is one sizzling collection.

My story is about a law student whose flirtation with a junior lawyer turns into a perfectly inappropriate situation.  Let's just say she gets what she wants. Wink, wink.

The Self Love Story

Here's a link to my first e-published short story, Virtual Office Self Love. I've mentioned this before, but it's about a woman who discovers her own inner goddess. In my opinion, that's probably the most important part of a woman's sexuality - her own private world. 

Gulp

I'm nervous and excited. My first e-story hits the virtual shelves soon. Very soon. Like, maybe today. My publisher gave the thumbs up to the final edits yesterday and said she'd upload it soon. Soon is a torturous word.

"When can we have pie?"
"Soon."

"Are we there yet?"
"Soon."

I'll post the link...soon. In the meantime, there is coffee, and eager anticipation.

Some thoughts on writing erotica

Part of the joy of writing erotica is the joy of expressing sexuality in words. Sexuality is a great lens through which to view the world. Just like we're all spiritual beings and political beings and creative beings, we are also all sexual beings. All of us. That is incredible to think about, isn't it?

Just think. Everyone has this lens. Maybe I should say most people have this lens. I am blessed to have a couple of asexual people in my life and I like to hear their perspectives, too. Anyway, most of us have a connection to our own sexuality. Some of us are still in the process of discovering what feels right and others have found it.

Sexuality is such a powerful part of the human experience. When it's right, it feeds the soul in ways that nothing else can. A pure and beautiful connection between lovers can be a transcendent experience. Conversely, repressive sex-negative views can really stifle a soul's growth. More and more, I find the link between physical and spiritual blatantly obvious.

One of the best things you can do for yourself as a person going through this human experience is to find out how you wish to express yourself sexually. In finding sexual satisfaction you actually find so much more.

Writing erotica these past few months has allowed me to feel complete in ways that I haven't felt for a while. I used to sell sex toys and lube etc. That job allowed me the privilege of peeking into other people's sex lives. That was great fun. When I left that job for something more career-like, it took me a long time to figure out that I really missed looking at people as sexual beings. I missed delving into the details.

I feel much better now that I'm exploring the human experience in this way, looking into bedrooms (this time of my own creation) to see what's going on in the minds, hearts and bodies of characters who intrigue me. Writing erotica is fictional voyeurism.