Getting Excited!

The book comes out in April and I could not be more excited about this art work. Truly, the Totally Bound team is awesome and I feel very privileged to get to have my book come out with them. It's starting to feel very real now.

Coming out...sort of

So this past week has been quite lively as I wrapped up Nanowrimo. I crossed the finish line a few days ago and I celebrated by actually seeing people. I had coffee with a friend who knows about my secret identity as a romance writer. I told him about an upcoming book deal and he, praisingly, told a mutual friend of ours who promptly congratulated me when we ran into each other on the sidewalk the following day. I was confused as to why she was congratulating me. Then she said, "for your book deal." I was somewhat taken aback but the acknowledgment felt nice.

Part of my choice to stay quiet about my identity has been that I am, by nature, the kind of person who dislikes attention. I don't know how to accept praise. I don't deal well with either compliments or criticism. I found in my other writing work that my ego was in a horrible place after things like readings. I suppose I prefer to observe others than be aware that I, too, am observed sometimes.

Last night and tonight, I told a whopping 12 or so people about my secret career. I was at a social function one night and there were many writers there so talking about Nanowrimo felt perfectly natural. Tonight I told my writing group - people who have taken my Creative Writing class in the past and who know me as a writing teacher. It was a vulnerable thing to do, but I wanted them to know. I wanted them to share in my excitement of having found a process and a form of vocation that works for me right now. I didn't share my chosen name and asked them to respect that it might take me a while to share everything and I might not at all. They respected it and even asserted that there is no shame in writing romance. I agree - I've been an avid romance consumer my entire adult life.

Part of my reluctance stems from knowing how my ego responds in my other professional writing life. I consider it a great privilege to be a writer and I love writing, but I find the business of it - the public life of it - entirely horrifying. I hate having to do social media as a writer (so I don't) and I hate being the center of attention at a reading. I actually don't like doing readings at all. Having a public persona or even being in public at all for that matter feels very far away from the act of creation. That's the side of it that intrigues me. That's the part I like. The rest of it is just a requirement.

I suppose that the pleasure of secrecy is, in part, avoiding the work of self-promotion. And the experiment for me lies in how this will affect my ego. So far, I find the act of writing erotic romance incredibly enjoyable and perhaps that is because I am only doing it for me and for me and my readers. In the past, I made the mistake of falling into the trap of identity as a specific kind of writer. I don't want to make that mistake anymore. I just want to write what inspires me. I hope that makes sense.

Living the dream

The sun is shining. I have coffee and I'm off work today. The cat is chilled out. My writing space is cozy and warm. This is my heaven.

Funny how that works

So I've been busy with Nanowrimo lately and suddenly my mind is flooded with more stories than I can humanly write. There are so many hot characters in my head and they all want their stories told. What's a girl to do?

I'm trying to keep up by taking breaks from the novel to jot down snippets of new stories that I promise myself I'll write after the month is over. Right now I'm almost at the mid-point of the novel and that's exciting, like reaching the summit of a mountain. The downhill slope will feel easier. At least that's what I think from my perspective right now. Who knows? Writing has a funny way of surprising the writer. It's entirely non-linear, non-neat, non-categorizable. That's what makes the process so fun. You just never know what's coming next.

Personally, I find Nanowrimo to be a fun way to write because the momentum is great. Bad for my poor wrists, but great for the story. Happy Nanoing to all the Wrimos out there.

Irony

So I'm taking part in the famously crazy and awesome Nanowrimo this month, working on a sister story to the one that....drum roll, please....my editor at Totally Bound wants to publish! Yay! It's called All I Ever Wanted and I'll write about it later, when I know more about the release day. I'm in a busy time now with edits coming up. And now this new story, which my editor actually suggested as a spin-off from All I Ever Wanted. It is so fun and delightful. I'm over the moon.

The irony, of course, is that while I'm obsessing over these hot and heavy stories, I am also missing my lover terribly. It's torture. Delicious torture, I'll admit, but torture just the same. There's really nothing like a month of letting the leg hair grow, sweeping house work and all other responsibilities under the rug to follow the steamy story of my latest heroine.

I'm patient and so is my lover and we're both excited about this. There is really nothing that rivals the feeling of living the dream life. It's all good.

The Fondue

I came across this free story site the other day and thought I'd add a little sensual flash fiction to the mix.  The fall weather makes me crave rich desserts like chocolate fondue. Time to pull out the sweaters and indulge a little.

Desire in Long Term Relationships

Esther Perel gets it. This TED talk is really worth a watch, whether you are in a long term relationship or not. Can we want what we already have? Oh, yes. I believe we can.